I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize