I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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