I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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