I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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