...so i touched it.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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