Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize