Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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