My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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