hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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