I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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