Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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