Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize