It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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