Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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