it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize