I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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