batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize