i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize