yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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