your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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