Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
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She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
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I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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