I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My friends, they love my intelligence
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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