smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
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You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
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She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Randomize