I CAN MOONWALK!
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize