Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Randomize