So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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