i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
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The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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