That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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