just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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