My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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