Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize