Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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