had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You can't just leave with hair like that
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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