Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
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Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
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I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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