apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize