The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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