Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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