The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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