R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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