the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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