If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize