peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
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She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
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We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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