I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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