do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
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Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
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I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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