I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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