Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Randomize