Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize