Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize