I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize