Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(210): View more from Texas

this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!

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(210): this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings! http://tfl.nu/x9r9

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(330): View more from Ohio

She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.

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(330): She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning. http://tfl.nu/zuj3

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(810): View more from Michigan

Adam has been drinking

(1-810): View more from Michigan

Who has his phone

(810): View more from Michigan

Adam does

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(810): Adam has been drinking (1-810): Who has his phone (810): Adam does http://tfl.nu/tl53

Replies (15) Good night (7570) Bad night (624)
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(775): View more from Nevada

For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.

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(775): For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven. http://tfl.nu/fqjc

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(425): View more from Washington

He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.

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(425): He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party. http://tfl.nu/pnyn

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool

(252): View more from North Carolina

Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five

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(919): Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool (252): Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five http://tfl.nu/6bci

Replies (13) Good night (6131) Bad night (792)
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(310): View more from California

can your parents tell?

(310): View more from California

i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know

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(310): can your parents tell? (310): i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know http://tfl.nu/rda5

Replies (26) Good night (9419) Bad night (1333)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.

(704): View more from North Carolina

How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?

(301): View more from Maryland

Salt in an open wound right now.

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(301): I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job. (704): How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore? (301): Salt in an open wound right now. http://tfl.nu/m9a1

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(631): View more from New York

It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.

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(631): It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots. http://tfl.nu/yevq

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.

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(603): to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald. http://tfl.nu/pb1j

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(305): View more from Florida

Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?

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(305): Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can? http://tfl.nu/kckv

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(309): View more from Illinois

Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.

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(309): Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs. http://tfl.nu/8989

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We left the knife in your bed.

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(780): We left the knife in your bed. http://tfl.nu/mwcc

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories

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(413): Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories http://tfl.nu/hc8i

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(315): View more from New York

It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.

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(315): It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win. http://tfl.nu/m4nr

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