do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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